Being a housewife or a homemaker in a modern girl boss world can bring some unfortunate misconceptions to your life. In an era when most women are expected to work, and many are forced to by the economy, choosing to stay home and take care of domestic responsibilities—with or without children—is often looked down on.
These prejudices toward modern housewives can make it hard to want to choose this life. Young women are often pressured by a feminist-driven society to enter the workforce because they don’t want to be judged, and their peers have told them that being a girl boss is the only way to be successful.
These are the stigmas and stereotypes that plague modern homemakers, and maybe if we go through them, we will see that they are only stereotypes.
Housewife Stigma One
You Are Lazy If You Don’t Have A Job
This is a common one I’ve gotten myself. There is this idea that women who choose to stay at home instead of work sit around and watch TV all day while their husbands do all the work. They order delivery for dinner and do very little cleaning. They send their kids to school all day, and so they spend countless day hours just relaxing and indulging.
Modern technology has removed the need for much of the housework our ancestors did. We have microwaves, DoorDash, and Amazon. But that doesn’t mean we should abandon those traditional skills altogether.
Regardless of how much technology you have in your life, you can easily fill your time with a pretty hefty to-do list throughout the day. Homeschooling your kids can be a tremendous benefit. It will save a lot of money in daycare and ensure that you direct your children’s education. You also have the time to clean and organize your home, run all the errands, and cook healthy meals. These are things you wouldn’t have the time or the energy to do if you had a full-time job.
The idea that housewives are lazy is completely false.
Housewife Stigma Two
Your Husband Must Be Rich If You Can Afford To Stay Home
This is another misconception I have seen regarding the modern housewife. And this one has some bit of truth. In today’s economy, surviving with a family on just one income can be very difficult. Everything is so expensive.
You may not realize that it is possible to survive off of one income if you are willing to sacrifice a few modern conveniences. Check out my Homemaking on a Budget post for some ideas. But you may find that your expenses go down when you stay at home. You won’t have to pay for child care, education, etc. And if you have even a small backyard, you could supplement your grocery bill by planting a garden.
You certainly don’t have to be rich, although you must be budget-savvy to make this work.
Housewife Stigma Three
Homemakers Lack Ambition And Talent
This one could not be more untrue. If anything, being a working woman restricts your ambition. As a housewife, you have the freedom to mold your home and everyone in it. In many households, women are in charge of the spiritual needs of the household. They are the caregivers and sources of comfort. They provide this important function that is vital to healthy children’s development.
As a housewife, you and your spouse are a team. This belief may differ from the man’s traditional role as the leader. In a modern household, husbands and wives are equals but with different tasks and responsibilities. The man may be the protector, the provider, and the breadwinner, but the woman is the caregiver and the director of how the house functions. You may lead in certain areas, and your husband may lead in others. In this way, you will need to be ambitious and have a vision of the direction your house is heading in, and that vision should be in sync with your husband.
Staying at home doesn’t mean you can’t be an entrepreneur. You could have a side hustle. Writing, blogging, babysitting, and online businesses are just some ways you can earn a little income from home.
Housewife Stigma Four
Housewives Are Uneducated
As a housewife, you can be a lifelong learner, especially if you are homeschooling your children. Education is important for you, just as it is important for your husband. While he may need to go to business school or medical school and spend thousands of dollars (unless he enters the trades!), you don’t have to make such an investment.
Taking basic childcare and health classes could be a tremendous asset if you are a mother. If you are homeschooling, you might need to brush up on your math, science, and English. Being educated provides your family with the best chance of success.
You can take classes online, watch lectures on programs like Wondrium or YouTube, or take classes at your local community college. You never have to give up learning, and you can do it simply because you love to learn.
Housewife Stigma Five
It’s Not A Real Job!
Just because being a housewife is not a 9-5 job and doesn’t produce an income doesn’t mean it’s not work! Being a housewife can be a very demanding job. You need to have some skill sets to make it work, just like any other job. You need to be resourceful, ambitious, a self-starter, an independent thinker, and an organized individual.
Homemaking is a job for the creative mind because you will spend your entire life being creative. Cooking is a skill to learn; it requires knowledge of ingredients, planning, and the ability to source the right ingredients. Check out my Cooking essentials if you want to become a chef for your family.
Cleaning the house isn’t just about keeping it nice and clean. It’s also about providing a comfortable environment. You could learn about interior design and learn how to organize your home effectively.
Then there are all the many other jobs that come with being a housewife: homeschooling, homesteading if you have a little land, event planning (birthdays, holidays, etc.), budgeting and finance, etc.
Think of it this way: If you had a job, your interests and focus would have to be on that job. You wouldn’t be able to focus on hobbies and passions; those would always take a backseat to work. But as a homemaker, it is literally your job to be creative and make your home your own.
Housewife Stigma Six
How Could You Depend On A Man?
This is a common misconception. And it’s easy to see why it’s rooted in uncertainty. The divorce rate in the United States in 2023 was 40-50%. With statistics like that, marriage can seem like such a risk to take. What do you do if your husband cheats on you? What if he becomes abusive or controlling?
The best way to prevent this scenario is to be selective about who you choose to start a family with. Make sure you can trust your husband. Check out my blog on healthy marriages for some important tips.
You can’t predict what the future will hold. Even if you and your husband remain married, there is the possibility that he could die.
There are resources to help in cases of abuse. The national hotline for domestic abuse can provide resources for getting out of a bad situation. There may be help for widows in your local area as well, resources to help you get on your feet after the death of a spouse.
But unless in the case of abuse, cheating, or something you can’t work through, counseling can be a healthy way to work out marital troubles if you are committed to making this work.
So, know those resources for the ‘what ifs’ in your life. But if you were selective about who you were marrying and found a good man (they do exist!) and you are a good woman, it’s okay to trust each other.
Housewife Stigma Seven
Housewives Are Brainwashed And Oppressed
This is a common stigma about housewives that we are being brainwashed into being homemakers, that we require someone to help save us from such a terrible and restrictive life.
But there are very many of us who happily choose this life. Personally, I didn’t always want to be a housewife. I came to this path after decades of failing in the workforce and dealing with my health problems. But I can’t think of a more freeing, carefree life. My husband doesn’t control me.
There are men who are controlling. There are women who are controlling, too. My advice would be to avoid those types of men. Check out my article on the divine masculine for some positive traits of masculinity.
Housewife Stigma Eight
She Is A Maid And A Servant
As a housewife, I have never been anyone’s servant. I take care of my husband because he takes care of me. I do things for him out of love, not out of obligation.
We all have responsibilities. In any household, there are domestic responsibilities and the responsibility to provide. Whether you decide to do both jobs or delegate who does what, it should always be equal. I focused on the domestic, so it is my job to take the money my husband makes and turn it into the things we need. It’s part of being a team.
So yes, I cook, I clean, etc. But I have never been a servant or a maid.
Housewife Stigma Nine
Boredom And Loneliness
Another stigma about being a housewife is that we may suffer from boredom and loneliness. But being a housewife doesn’t mean you should be locked up in your house all day long. I am more introverted, so I tend to be a homebody, but I go out for walks every day, and if I wanted to, I could socialize. There are meetup.com groups in my area and in most areas.
If there isn’t a group in your area, you could start one. You could start a book club at your local library. Or you could organize hikes and walks. You could even organize homeschooling groups and pool your resources.
Conclusion
Being a housewife requires some skills. It’s not an easy job, but it is a fulfilling job. You must be disciplined and self-motivated. You have no bosses or deadlines; you are your own boss. Your husband is your coworker. Or, as my husband likes to say, he is the engineer, and you are the navigator. He provides the physical income needed to make a family; you take that income and turn it into a home.
There is nothing wrong with having dreams and wanting to be a working woman. But modern feminism should be about choice, and if this is the choice you want in your life, don’t let any girl boss’s negative stigmas dissuade you.
